The text appears to be a transcript of a video where the speaker shares several embarrassing and humorous stories about their life. The stories include:
* Accidentally hitting a teacher instead of a friend in a game
* Wearing pants that were too big and having them fall down in front of a crowd
* Forgetting to straighten their legs while standing up in class and falling over
* Having a seizure in sixth grade and wetting their pants
* Accidentally getting blue ink all over their mouth and teeth
* Chasing after a bus to save a friend, but ending up grabbing their chest instead
* Working as a waiter and getting whipped cream on their pants
* Having a period emergency and trying to find toilet paper while a partner was out buying wine
* Many other awkward and humorous situations.
The speaker also asks viewers to share their own embarrassing stories in the comments.
Here are the extracted facts from the text:
1. The narrator had a habit of chewing pen tips in middle school.
2. The narrator had epilepsy and had a seizure in sixth grade.
3. The narrator peed on their pants during their first seizure.
4. The narrator's daughter gave her phone number to a boy at school because she didn't want to be rude to him, thinking he had autism.
5. The narrator's daughter later found out the boy didn't have autism.
6. The narrator's wife met a deaf girl who was mistaken for someone from Australia.
7. The narrator worked as a volunteer at triathlon competitions.
8. The narrator had a task to write numbers on athletes' arms and legs.
9. The narrator once grabbed a friend's chest thinking a bus would hit them, but the bus drove past.
10. The narrator's friend beat them with a backpack for the incident.
11. The narrator was working as a waiter and spilled whipped cream on themselves.
12. The narrator dated a guy for three weeks.
13. The narrator asked the guy to buy wine while they were on their period.
14. The narrator sent the guy to buy toilet paper but ended up using a roll from the back room.
15. The narrator had a conversation with a colleague at McDonald's but called them by the wrong name.
16. The narrator had a serious head injury and doesn't remember how they worked together.
17. The narrator was deathly afraid of public speaking.
18. The narrator fell in front of the class while giving a report in English class.
19. The narrator had to read a report about a book in English class.
20. The narrator was 15 when they had a seizure in sixth grade.
21. The narrator's daughter is 15 years old.
22. The narrator worked as a waiter at a restaurant.
23. The narrator had to make an ice cream dessert for a table at the back of the restaurant.
24. The narrator wore a skirt that was a little too big at work.
25. The narrator's skirt fell to the floor while they were talking to technicians.