The provided text appears to be a transcript of a comedian's stand-up routine. The comedian shares various humorous anecdotes and stories, often focusing on embarrassing or shameful situations. Some of the topics include:
1. A story about a friend who used Tinder and ended up in a strange situation with a girl.
2. An experience at a maternity hospital where the comedian met a man who was trying to take a picture with his newborn baby, but ended up mistakenly asking for a photo with the comedian's daughter.
3. A frustrating encounter with a hamburger delivery service, where the comedian ordered a cheeseburger with bacon, but the bacon was not included. After complaining, the comedian discovered that the bacon was actually in the bag the whole time.
4. A friend's story about watching a scary movie and then being startled by a fan, which was mistaken for a supernatural presence.
5. Various other stories about embarrassing situations, including a couple fighting in public, a friend's awkward encounter with a girl, and a humorous anecdote about a guy who beats his wife.
The comedian's routine is lighthearted and playful, with a focus on poking fun at everyday situations and human foibles.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The speaker is a comedian who is sharing stories and jokes with their audience.
2. The comedian mentions a friend named Afonso who has a wife named York.
3. The comedian talks about a experience at a maternity hospital where they saw a girl crying in the corridor.
4. The comedian shares a story about ordering a cheeseburger with bacon from a restaurant, but the bacon was not included.
5. The comedian calls the restaurant to complain and is told that the bacon was in the bag the whole time.
6. The comedian finds two strips of bacon wrapped in a napkin in the bag.
7. The comedian shares a story about a friend named Vitor who watched the movie "Paranormal Activity" and was scared.
8. The comedian mentions a story about a couple fighting in public.
9. The comedian talks about a friend who was born at 3 am and was sleeping against the wall.
10. The comedian shares a story about a friend who was afraid of mosquitoes and thought one was a demon.
11. The comedian mentions a story about a couple that got into a fight and the comedian got embarrassed.
12. The comedian talks about a friend who was imagining a threesome on the wall.
13. The comedian shares a story about a friend who was dating a girl named Samira.
14. The comedian mentions a story about a lesbian couple that they met.
15. The comedian talks about a friend who is a king and has a cousin who beats his wife.
16. The comedian is promoting their new comedy special and encouraging their audience to subscribe to their channel.
Note: Some of the facts may be part of a joke or a story, but I have tried to extract the key points in a neutral and factual way.