A person attempts to create a device that can kick a soccer ball faster than the fastest recorded kick. They use a milling machine to craft the device, which consists of a mechanism attached to a shoe that sets off blanks, propelling a hammer to kick the ball. After multiple trials and adjustments, they manage to get the device working, achieving a speed of 28 m/s (100 km/h). They then test the device on a soccer field, trying to beat the record for the longest goal in soccer (96 m). Although the device shows promise, its performance is inconsistent, and it ultimately fails to achieve the desired distance. The creator concludes that the device is "probably slightly worse" than their normal foot kicking a soccer ball.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The author uses a milling machine to make a gun on the bottom of a soccer shoe.
2. The author is Australian and is not allowed to make a gun, so they are using a soccer shoe as a compromise.
3. The author uses a digital readout on the milling machine to make accurate cuts.
4. The author cuts a piece of metal to make a mechanism that slides and has rounds in the back that will be squished when the ball hits the front.
5. The author makes a hammer that will make contact with the ball and uses a spear gun shaft for the pistons.
6. The author presses the pistons into a block using a hammer.
7. The author makes a firing pin using a piece of tool steel and taps holes into it.
8. The author assembles the mechanism and tests it, but it doesn't work as expected.
9. The author makes changes to the mechanism and tests it again, but it still doesn't work as expected.
10. The author uses a toothpick to keep the carriage away from the block and tests the mechanism again.
11. The author upgrades the toothpick to a bamboo skewer and tests the mechanism again.
12. The author tests the mechanism with a soccer ball and gets it to work.
13. The author attaches the mechanism to a soccer shoe and tests it, but it doesn't work as expected.
14. The author makes changes to the mechanism and tests it again, but it still doesn't work as expected.
15. The author tests the mechanism with a lighter kick and gets it to work.
16. The author takes free kicks from 30 meters away and gets the ball to travel 30 meters in just over half a second.
17. The author calculates that the ball was traveling at 45 meters per second, which is 60 km/h or 100 mph.
18. The author compares their kick speed to David Beckham's fastest kick and finds that it is 3 km faster.
19. The author tests the mechanism with multiple people and gets inconsistent results.
20. The author concludes that the mechanism is inconsistent and depends on various factors.