Why I stopped watching porn | Ran Gavrieli | TEDxJaffa - Summary

Summary

The speaker shares their personal experience of quitting pornography due to its negative impact on their intimate relationships and fantasies. They claim that pornography promotes male domination and violence against women, and that it is often indistinguishable from prostitution. The speaker argues that the demand for pornography fuels the sex industry, which is linked to human trafficking and exploitation.

The speaker also shares their observations of the impact of pornography on young people, including the normalization of violence and exploitation, and the objectification of women. They argue that the sex industry is a major contributor to mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, particularly among girls and women.

The speaker advocates for a more nuanced and respectful approach to sex and intimacy, one that prioritizes emotional safety, mutual respect, and laughter. They encourage the audience to speak openly about these issues and to work towards creating a culture that values healthy relationships and intimacy.

Ultimately, the speaker argues that quitting pornography is not just a personal choice, but a moral and social imperative, as it helps to dismantle the demand for the sex industry and promotes a more just and equitable society.

Facts

Here are the key facts extracted from the text:

1. The speaker stopped watching porn for two reasons: it brought anger and violence into their private fantasies, and it created a demand for filmed prostitution.
2. The word "porn" comes from the Greek words "pornē" (prostitute) and "graphia" (documentation).
3. Prostitution is not a childhood dream, but rather a result of trouble and distress.
4. The speaker volunteered with men and women in prostitution, including victims of human trafficking.
5. Porn cameras are not interested in capturing normal sensual activities, but rather focus on penetration.
6. In mainstream porn, sex is often depicted with no hands involved, and the only body parts that touch are the penis and the part being penetrated.
7. The speaker has talked to many people about sex, but no one has ever said that their authentic desire was for sex with no hands involved.
8. Before watching porn, the speaker's private fantasies were filled with narratives of sensuality and mutuality.
9. After watching porn, the speaker's ability to imagine and fantasize was impaired.
10. The speaker believes that porn is not just a minor phenomenon in society, but rather a capital case that is a question of life and death for some people.
11. For every one porn star with a book contract or production company, there are hundreds of thousands of women and girls who do not survive in the sex industry.
12. Many women in prostitution do not make it to the age of 50, and the main reasons for this are drugs, STDs, being murdered, and suicide.
13. The speaker believes that watching porn creates a demand for prostitution and human trafficking.
14. The speaker proposes the notion of physically and emotionally-safe sex, which does not mean being conservative or unliberated sexually, but rather putting gender hierarchy and subordinance aside.