The Angry Video Game Nerd reviews a series of edutainment games created by Lightspan, a company that produced many educational games for the PlayStation in the late 1990s. The Nerd reviews several games, including "K9.5: Live in Arendelle," "Tasmanian Devil," and "Math on the Move," criticizing their poor graphics, unresponsive controls, and lack of engaging gameplay. He also expresses frustration with the games' attempts to teach educational concepts, such as grammar and math, through boring and ineffective methods. The Nerd's review is interspersed with humorous commentary and sarcastic remarks, as he struggles to make sense of the games' poor design and lack of entertainment value.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The text is about the Angry Video Game Nerd reviewing a game called "Lightspan Adventures".
2. Lightspan Adventures was a series of educational games for the PlayStation.
3. The games were distributed to schools as a valuable edutainment tool.
4. The Angry Video Game Nerd is not impressed with the games and finds them to be of poor quality.
5. One of the games, "K9.5 Live in Arendelle", features a band with Disney reject dog characters.
6. The game "Tasmania" features a slug girl character with an inflated head.
7. The Angry Video Game Nerd notes that the games seem to be helping him improve his linguistic skills.
8. The game "Math on the Move" features videos starring geeks and is not an interactive game.
9. The Angry Video Game Nerd compares the game to a VHS tape and states that it's not worthy of being a PlayStation game.
10. The game "Calamity" is based on a time travel story and features a character named Calamity Jane.
11. Calamity Jane was an illiterate alcoholic prostitute in real life.
12. The game requires the player to read articles and answer questions to progress.
13. The Angry Video Game Nerd finds the game to be boring and unengaging.
14. The text ends with the Angry Video Game Nerd wishing everyone a happy winter solstice holiday.