The Angry Nintendo Nerd is reviewing various Godzilla games, expressing his disappointment and frustration with their poor quality. He starts with the 1989 NES game "Godzilla: Monster of Monsters," criticizing its confusing gameplay, poor graphics, and lack of faithfulness to the Godzilla franchise.
He then moves on to the sequel, "Godzilla 2," which he considers an insult to the first game. The gameplay is completely different, with the player controlling the military instead of Godzilla, and the music is horrible.
The Nerd also reviews the Game Boy game "Godzilla," which he finds to be a joke, with Godzilla looking like a dragon from "Bubble Bobble" and the gameplay being boring and unfaithful to the franchise.
He then moves on to the Super Nintendo game "Super Godzilla," which he finds to be a disappointment due to its poor gameplay and confusing controls.
The Nerd's dream game, "Godzilla: Kaiju Daikessen," was only released in Japan and features a tournament-style fighter with various Godzilla monsters. Although it's not a great game, the Nerd would have loved it as a kid.
Finally, the Nerd mentions more recent Godzilla games, such as "Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee" and "Godzilla: Save the Earth," but expresses his disappointment that he didn't get to play them as a kid. He ends the review with a series of curses and insults, emphasizing his frustration with the poor quality of Godzilla games.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The author is reviewing various Godzilla video games.
2. The first game reviewed is "Godzilla: Monster of Monsters" for the NES.
3. The game features Godzilla and Mothra as playable characters.
4. The game has a unique battle system involving a "hexagon" space.
5. The game has a time limit for battles, and if the player takes too long, they must restart.
6. The author criticizes the game for its poor design choices, such as the inability to destroy buildings without losing health.
7. The author reviews a sequel, "Godzilla 2," which they consider an insult to the first game.
8. The gameplay of "Godzilla 2" is significantly different from the first game, involving a board game-style system and a slot machine mechanic for battles.
9. The author reviews "Godzilla" for the Game Boy, which they find disappointing due to its poor graphics and gameplay.
10. The author then reviews "Super Godzilla" for the Super Nintendo, which they find frustrating due to its confusing battle system.
11. The author mentions a game called "Godzilla: Kaiju Daikessen" for the Super Famicom, which they consider the closest to their ideal Godzilla game.
12. The author notes that this game was only released in Japan and was teased in Nintendo Power magazine but never released outside of Japan.
13. The author expresses disappointment and frustration with the lack of good Godzilla games during their childhood.
14. The author mentions more recent Godzilla games, including "Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee" and "Godzilla: Save the Earth," which they have not played.
15. The author decides to give one of these games a try.