A video game reviewer is playing and commenting on a game called "Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures: Instrument of Chaos". The reviewer is extremely frustrated with the game's poor design, glitches, and lack of challenge, calling it the "worst platformer" they've ever played. They criticize the game's awkward controls, enemies with no patterns, and the fact that the player's character can't even hit enemies with their whip.
The reviewer also points out that the game's levels are poorly designed, with some levels being identical to others, and that the game's final level is a zeppelin where the player must fight against the German army. However, the reviewer notes that the game's storyline is nonsensical, with the player's actions having no impact on the outcome of the game.
Throughout the review, the reviewer uses humor and sarcasm to express their frustration with the game. The review ends with a twist, where the reviewer receives a message from an alien named Archibald Van Gre nier, who is revealed to be from the planet Gelganote and has been stuck on Earth for several millennia. The alien thanks the reviewer for bringing them the key to their vessel and departs, leaving the reviewer confused and amused.
1. The narrator's grandfather is Archibald Van Attic.
2. Archibald Van Attic left a video message for his great-grandson.
3. The video message is a kinetoscope.
4. Archibald Van Attic claims that the game Indiana Jones is the key to something.
5. The narrator is playing a game called "Young Indiana Jones Chronicles".
6. The game is an action-platformer.
7. The game has a level set in Tibet.
8. The game has a level set in Egypt.
9. The game has a level set in London.
10. The game has a level set in India.
11. The game features a character named Professor Weetos.
12. Professor Weetos gives technology to a German agent.
13. The game has a final level set in Germany.
14. The game features a zeppelin in the final level.
15. The narrator claims that the game is poorly designed and frustrating to play.
16. The game features a timer that, when it runs out, ends the mission.
17. The narrator believes that the game's ending is disappointing and feels like a waste of time.
18. The narrator's grandfather is actually an alien named Archibald Van Gre nier.
19. Archibald Van Gre nier is from the planet Gelganote.
20. Archibald Van Gre nier has been stuck on Earth for several millennia.
21. The narrator brought Archibald Van Gre nier the key to his vessel.
22. Archibald Van Gre nier is the seventh heir of the empire that owns the yellow energy.
23. Archibald Van Gre nier must go to defeat the enemies that threaten his galaxy.