Dan and Phil are preparing for their tour in Australia and have decided to assess the dangers they might face while there. They discuss various Australian wildlife, including the Textile Cone snail, Cassowary, Drop Bears (which Phil initially believes to be real), Blue Ringed Octopus, sharks, and Salt Water Crocodiles. They also talk about the risks of flying, the sun, spiders, getting lost in the bush, and sexually transmitted infections from koalas. After discussing each topic, they decide whether they would "Survive" or "Die" if they encountered these dangers. In the end, they joke about not surviving their trip to Australia, but acknowledge that they are just being silly and that Australia is a safe place to visit.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. Dan and Phil are going to Australia for the Australian leg of their stage show, "The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire".
2. The tour will visit Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane.
3. The website for tour tickets is danandphiltour.com.
4. Dan and Phil discuss various Australian predators, including the Textile Cone snail, the Cassowary, the Blue Ringed Octopus, and the Salt Water Crocodile.
5. The Textile Cone snail is a type of snail that can kill a human if stepped on.
6. The Cassowary is a large, deadly bird that can kick a human to death.
7. The Blue Ringed Octopus is a venomous octopus that can kill a human.
8. The Salt Water Crocodile is a large reptile that can attack and kill humans.
9. Dan and Phil also discuss the dangers of the Australian sun, with Phil saying he will "burst into flames" if he goes outside.
10. The plane ride from England to Australia is 23 hours long.
11. Dan and Phil discuss the dangers of spiders in Australia, including the Huntsman spider.
12. Statistically, you are always 1 foot away from a spider in Australia.
13. There is a small risk of contracting chlamydia from cuddling a koala.
14. Koalas naturally carry chlamydia.
Note: Some of these "facts" are presented in a humorous or exaggerated way, and may not be entirely accurate.