The provided text appears to be a play-by-play commentary of someone playing a video game, specifically "School Days" or a similar game. The game seems to be a satirical take on high school life, with the player character, John McClane, navigating a bizarre and often violent world.
Throughout the commentary, the player notes the game's poor graphics, strange character designs, and absurd scenarios. The game's story is disjointed and surreal, with John McClane getting into various misadventures, including fighting with teachers and students, getting suspended, and even dying and being sent to the hospital.
The commentary also highlights the game's dark humor and ridiculous elements, such as a character's ability to ride a Harley-Davidson motorcycle through the school hallways, and the presence of a Macho Man Randy Savage poster in the player's room.
Overall, the commentary suggests that the game is a quirky and humorous take on high school life, with a focus on absurdity and satire rather than realism or serious storytelling.
1. The game is called "School Days".
2. The game features students who look like 30-year-old adults.
3. The player can customize their character's appearance.
4. The player's character is named John McClane.
5. John McClane is a 16-year-old student.
6. The game takes place in a high school.
7. The school has a dress code that can be changed or abolished.
8. The player can interact with other students and teachers.
9. The game features various classes, including gym, languages, and science.
10. The school has a three-minute class period.
11. The game has a unisex toilet.
12. The player can get into fights with other students.
13. The player can get suspended from school.
14. The game features a hospital where characters can get treated for injuries.
15. The player can buy painkillers from other students.
16. The game has a storyline involving romance and relationships.
17. The player's character can get into trouble with teachers and other authority figures.
18. The game features a character named Principal Clinton.
19. The player's character can get into a motorcycle accident.
20. The game has a character named Macho Man Randy Savage.
21. The player's character can sleep on the floor in the cafeteria.
22. The game features a character named Lois.
23. The player's character can get into a fight with a teacher.
24. The game features a character named Kendrick.
25. The player's character can get into a relationship with another student.
26. The game features a character named Helen Dante who gets sent to the hospital.
27. The player's character can get into trouble for moving a trash can into the laboratory.
28. The player's character can get into a fight with another student in the laboratory.
29. The game features a character named Mr. Mitchell who gets sent to the hospital.
30. The player's character can sell items they find on the ground.
31. The player's character can get into trouble for beating people with a dumbbell.
32. The game features a character who needs to use the restroom urgently.
33. The player's character can get into trouble for knocking people unconscious.
34. The game features a detention scene where the player's character gets into trouble.
35. The game ends with the player's character dying slowly in their room.