This is a humorous, sarcastic review of the movie John Wick. The reviewer critiques various aspects of the film, including:
1. Unrealistic plot points, such as the coincidence of the gangsters stopping at the same gas station as John Wick.
2. Over-the-top violence and the number of henchmen willing to die for the villain.
3. Poor decision-making by characters, such as leaving John Wick alive after breaking into his house and killing his dog.
4. The lack of practicality in the villains' plans and the ease with which John Wick is able to take them down.
5. The film's clichéd portrayal of a nightclub and the use of a sex club as a setting.
6. The unnecessary prolonging of the film's ending, which the reviewer attributes to poor screenwriting.
7. The implausible driving skills of John Wick and the poor preparedness of the villains.
Throughout the review, the author uses humor and sarcasm to point out the film's flaws, often using witty one-liners and pop culture references.
Here are the key facts from the text:
1. John Wick's wife has died.
2. John Wick is a retired hitman.
3. A group of gangsters kill John Wick's dog and steal his car.
4. The leader of the gangsters is Viggo Tarasov's son Iosef.
5. Viggo Tarasov is a powerful crime lord.
6. John Wick seeks revenge against Viggo and his son.
7. John Wick has a stash of guns and money hidden in his basement.
8. John Wick visits a nightclub that is a front for Viggo's operations.
9. John Wick fights against Viggo's henchmen in the nightclub.
10. John Wick is helped by a mysterious sniper who kills some of Viggo's henchmen.
11. John Wick is captured by Viggo's men and tortured.
12. John Wick escapes and continues his quest for revenge.
13. John Wick kills Viggo's son Iosef.
14. John Wick fights against Viggo and his remaining henchmen.
15. John Wick kills Viggo.
16. The collapse of Viggo's empire may lead to a gang war.
17. John Wick breaks into an animal hospital to save a dog that is about to be euthanized.