The narrator, James, reviews the 2011 prequel to the horror movie "The Thing" and counts the kills. The movie tells the story of a Norwegian research team in Antarctica that discovers an alien creature that can imitate human form. As the team tries to uncover the truth, they start to get killed off one by one. James critiques the movie's use of CGI, which he finds to be inferior to the practical effects of the original 1982 film. He also notes that the characters in the prequel are less memorable than those in the original.
Throughout the review, James tallies up the kills, which include 13 people, with 12 men and 1 woman dying. He awards the "Golden Chainsaw" for the coolest kill to Juliet, whose transformation into a thing is a memorable moment in the film. The "Machete" for the lamest kill goes to Derek, who dies from a tentacle stab wound. James concludes by stating that the prequel is not as good as the original but still has some enjoyable moments.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The movie being discussed is the 2011 prequel to "The Thing," also called "The Thing."
2. The movie tells the story of a Norwegian research team in Antarctica.
3. The team discovers an alien spacecraft and a creature that can imitate other living beings.
4. The creature infiltrates the team and begins to kill them off one by one.
5. The movie follows the team's attempts to survive and escape from the creature.
6. The movie stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Kate Lloyd, a paleontologist who joins the research team.
7. The movie also stars Joel Edgerton, Ulrich Thomsen, and Eric Christian Olsen.
8. The movie was released in 2011 and was directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.
9. The movie is a prequel to the 1982 film "The Thing," directed by John Carpenter.
10. The movie features a mix of practical and CGI effects.
11. The movie's plot is similar to the 1982 film, with a group of people trapped in a remote location with a shape-shifting alien creature.
12. The movie's climax features a confrontation between the main character, Kate, and the alien creature.
13. The movie ends with Kate escaping from the creature and fleeing the research station.
14. The movie's final scene shows Kate driving away from the station in a snowcat, with the creature still on the loose.
15. The movie's epilogue shows a helicopter pilot, Mattias, returning to the research station and discovering the aftermath of the creature's attack.
16. The movie's final shot shows the creature's remains, with a dog running away from the station.
17. The movie's kill count is 13 people.
18. The movie's runtime is 102 minutes.
19. The movie's kill rate is one person every 7.85 minutes.
20. The movie's coolest kill is awarded to Juliet, who is transformed into a creature in a background scene.
21. The movie's lamest kill is awarded to Derek, who is stabbed by a tentacle and dies from blood loss.