The text is a transcript of a stand-up comedy show by a Brazilian comedian named Afonso Padilha. He talks about his experience of traveling to Portugal and making jokes about the differences between Brazilians and Portuguese. He also mentions some funny words and expressions in Portuguese that have different meanings in Brazil. He describes how he was nervous at the immigration and how he tried to convince the officer that he was just there for a walk. He uses a lot of slang, swearing and exaggeration to make his audience laugh.
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1. The text is a transcript of a comedy show by Brazilian comedian Afonso Padilha in Portugal.
2. The comedian talks about his experiences with immigration, language, culture, and food in Portugal.
3. The comedian makes jokes about the differences between Brazilians and Portuguese, such as their accents, expressions, numbers, and words.
4. The comedian says he was scared of not being allowed to enter Portugal because he made jokes about taking over the country with other Brazilians.
5. The comedian says he was recognized by some Portuguese and Brazilians in the immigration queue and airport, which made him more nervous.
6. The comedian says he was doing three sessions in Portugal with 270 people each, which he considers very successful.
7. The comedian says he likes Portugal and would live there if he could, but he is not going to stay.
8. The comedian says he was afraid of the blonde immigration officer who did not speak Portuguese and replied "I don't speak English" when he said "I don't speak English".