The summary is:
The text is a transcript of a comedy show hosted by Trevor Noah, where he makes jokes about various topics such as the college admission scandal, the Jussie Smollett case, the rise of socialism in America, and Donald Trump's lies about his wealth. He also invites his friend Neal Brennan to comment on some of the issues. The text is divided into segments by music and applause.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. On August 22nd, 2019, a segment aired from Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York.
2. New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft was charged with two counts of solicitation related to a Florida massage parlor.
3. Prosecutors offered to drop charges if Kraft admitted he would have been found guilty at trial, along with other penalties including community service and an education course about prostitution.
4. A college admissions scandal involved parents bribing their children's way into elite colleges, including actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin charged with felonies for conspiracy to commit mail fraud.
5. William Singer was the alleged mastermind behind the college admissions scheme, involving cheating on entrance exams and bribing college coaches.
6. Some parents involved in the scandal disguised their payments as charitable contributions for tax deductions.
7. Empire actor Jussie Smollett was accused of faking a hate crime and charged with disorderly conduct for filing a false police report in Illinois.
8. Police claim Smollett planned the attack because he was allegedly upset about his pay on the show Empire.
9. Smollett allegedly paid accomplices with a check for staging the attack.
10. President Trump may have lied about his net worth to get onto Forbes magazine's list of richest Americans in the 1980s, using it to borrow billions of dollars for business ventures.
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