A possible concise summary is:
Doug Smith tells a story about how he intervened to stop a rapist from attacking a woman in a subway station, but ended up getting stabbed in the face and drooling from his wound. He jokes about his lack of fighting skills, his fear of getting AIDS, and his rapist's appearance. He reveals that the rapist was caught and sentenced to prison, and he is not afraid of him anymore.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. A woman noticed a massive laceration on the narrator's face.
2. The narrator had blood cascading down his face onto his jacket and shoe.
3. The narrator was involved in an altercation at the Second Avenue F Train station in the East Village of Manhattan.
4. A woman was screaming, and a man was assaulting her.
5. The narrator intervened, and the assailant turned his attention to him.
6. The woman escaped during the altercation.
7. The narrator was hit by the assailant and later realized he was stabbed, not punched.
8. The narrator initially thought he won the fight when the assailant ran away.
9. The narrator was a dog walker at the time of the incident.
10. The cut on his face hit his salivary gland, causing him to drool uncontrollably when seeing food.
11. The drooling stopped after two weeks, and the narrator healed with a scar.
12. The assailant was caught three days after the incident near the same station.
13. The assailant turned out to be a 55-year-old drunk homeless man.
14. The assailant was sentenced to 15 years in prison.
Please let me know if you need any more information or further assistance!