The summary of the text is:
- The speaker is a YouTuber who makes videos about life hacks, crafts and comedy.
- He starts by complaining that his previous video was blocked by Five Minutes Craft, a popular channel that he parodies.
- He then proceeds to watch and comment on various life hacks involving balloons, straws, spoons, cables, condoms and more.
- He makes fun of the absurdity and impracticality of some of the hacks, and also tries to do some of them himself.
- He also makes jokes about turtles, Christina Kirchner, Colgate and lemons.
- He ends by saying that he hopes his viewers have a nice time and that he is going to put on his pineapple factory.
Some possible facts extracted from the text are:
1. The video is about life hacks and crafts using everyday objects.
2. The video was blocked worldwide by Five Minutes Craft, a YouTube channel.
3. The speaker is planning to upload daily videos for two months in a row.
4. The speaker shaved and cut his hair and had a surgery on his face.
5. The speaker uses humor and sarcasm to comment on the life hacks and crafts.
6. The speaker is not good at making crafts and fails at some attempts.
7. The speaker mentions Cristina Kirchner, a former president of Argentina, and her legal troubles.
8. The speaker uses different names for straws, such as lining, sorbet, and straw.
9. The speaker shows how to make a lamp with toys, a bracelet with straws, and a toothbrush with an orange.