A possible concise summary is:
This is a transcript of a video where the speaker reads and comments on some funny stories sent by his viewers. The stories are about embarrassing situations that happened at school, on the bus, at a funeral, or with a crush. The speaker makes jokes and reacts to the stories with sarcasm and disbelief. He also invites his viewers to send more stories for the next video.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The author is sharing stories about their personal experiences.
2. The author mentions attending a party the night before Mother's Day and sleeping at their parents' house.
3. The author's father has 14 brothers.
4. The author got sick at school and vomited on a bus.
5. A girl on the bus got vomit on her head, and the author was embarrassed.
6. The author made a friend on the bus who witnessed the incident.
7. The author was in the 9th grade and had a crush on a boy named Enderson Lenglen.
8. The author's friend, Guilherme, gave a school presentation and accidentally showed his phone's folders.
9. The author attended a funeral and didn't know anyone there.
10. The author's phone rang during the funeral, and they had a laughing fit.
11. The author fell into a pit at the funeral and was helped out by their cousin.
12. The author is sedentary and likes to sit down.
13. The author wants to thank various forces in the universe, including God and Jesus, for their experiences.
14. The author forgot to buy repellent and had to go to the pharmacy with their cousin.
15. The author is allergic to insect bites.
Note that some of these "facts" may be exaggerated or fictional, as the text appears to be a humorous and lighthearted account of the author's experiences.