The text is a transcript of a chaotic wedding scene where various characters have misunderstandings, arguments, jokes, and accidents. A possible concise summary is:
A wedding goes wrong when the groom's ex-girlfriend shows up, the money box is stolen, the bride's brother fakes a pregnancy, and the guests get drunk and fight.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. A wedding is taking place.
2. The speaker is preparing Tan Lan's wedding.
3. The bride and groom are mentioned.
4. There is a mention of grandparents and a saying about shrimp beards and gourd intestines.
5. The speaker acknowledges being a famous MC (Master of Ceremonies).
6. A group of people is welcomed at the wedding.
7. Music is played and then abruptly stopped.
8. There is confusion regarding the order of inviting the bride and groom versus boyfriend and girlfriend.
9. The speaker mentions wearing a purple shirt and blue shirt.
10. There is an expression of passionate love.
11. A father is mentioned in relation to the bride and groom.
12. The speaker hands over the microphone to their grandfather.
13. The grandfather addresses the officials of both families and thanks them for attending.
14. There is a mention of a money box at the wedding.
15. The speaker refers to someone as "my husband" and talks about listening to music.
Please note that this text seems to be a transcript with various speakers, making it challenging to extract clear facts without additional context. If you need more detailed information or have specific parts you want to focus on, please let me know!