A possible concise summary is:
The text is a transcript of a conversation between two young men who are involved in drug dealing and have romantic interests in two sisters. The conversation is full of slang, misspellings, and grammatical errors. The men talk about their plans to sell drugs, buy motorcycles, and impress the sisters. They also mention some problems they face, such as the police, the sisters' parents, and their rivals. The conversation ends with one of them leaving to train his body and prepare a surprise for his crush.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The speaker mentions having 1000 euros.
2. The speaker offers to give someone a job and a 50% percentage of the profits.
3. The speaker mentions selling "bird bags" for 200 each.
4. The speaker has a plan to buy a motorcycle.
5. The speaker mentions having a friend named Carolina.
6. The speaker talks about meeting someone named Úrsula.
7. The speaker's name is Mariano.
8. The speaker is awaiting a response from someone named Carolina.
9. The speaker has a problem with their "balls" (possibly a reference to a health issue).
10. The speaker is concerned about a woman's parents wanting her to get married.
11. The speaker mentions having a friend named Juan.
12. The speaker talks about a plan to buy a car.
13. The speaker mentions having a body training session.
14. The speaker has something prepared for Carolina.
15. The speaker mentions a flight that was supposed to be a blast.
16. The speaker has to leave to train with their body.
17. The speaker invites someone to meet up at a location.
18. The speaker talks about sending a location on WhatsApp.
19. The speaker mentions being with an aunt in their car.
20. The speaker has a conversation with someone named Juan about Úrsula.
21. The speaker mentions Úrsula's sister being a virgin.
22. The speaker talks about reading a message from Carolina.
23. The speaker mentions having a problem with women.
24. The speaker talks about a woman's parents wanting her to get married.
25. The speaker mentions being careful around women.
Please note that some of the facts might be incomplete or unclear due to the nature of the text, which appears to be a transcript of a conversation or a monologue with some parts being unclear or censored.