The following is a possible concise summary of the text:
A man named Matt buys a $7,000 coffee machine for his office and asks his employees which base (area) they want to put it in. He gets different opinions from different people, some of whom are not interested in coffee at all. He decides to put it in the red base and tries to make a latte macchiato with it. He is satisfied with the result and asks his viewers to comment on how it looks. He also jokes about making one of his employees a barista and plugs his other videos about coffee.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The speaker woke up feeling like it should be an unconscious day.
2. The speaker hasn't seen the audience in about a week.
3. The speaker has been lacking sleep.
4. A new coffee machine arrived in two boxes.
5. The coffee machine is large and expensive.
6. The speaker decided to spoil the Hi-5 crew with the new coffee machine.
7. Aldo, a barber in Santa Clarita, has a similar coffee machine.
8. The speaker loves books and finds them wise.
9. The speaker plans to have others unpack and build the coffee machine under the guise of hanging out and shooting a vlog.
10. There's a debate about where to place the new coffee machine among different bases (color-coded areas).
11. The speaker uses "high five bucks" as an incentive for employees.
12. Most people suggest blue base for the coffee machine's location due to frequent meetings there.
13. The speaker decides on red base for the coffee machine's location, pulling CEO rank.
14. The speaker considers buying Stumptown coffee beans and needs milk for the machine.
15. The speaker expresses that owning an office is expensive, with new chairs and desks costing around $30,000.
16. The new coffee machine is expected to last five years and is seen as a frugal investment compared to individual K-Cups.
17. The speaker prefers less human interaction, implying machines like the new coffee maker are better than baristas who talk back.
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