The following is a concise summary of the text:
The text is a transcript of a comedian's story about buying a bookshelf on Gumtree. He tells how he contacted two sellers, Kathy and Morgan, and ended up choosing Morgan's bookshelf. He then describes how Morgan turned out to be a graphic designer who had recently been cheated on by his wife and was in the process of losing his house. He says that Morgan became unhinged and started destroying his own property, while he tried to get the bookshelf out safely. He reveals at the end that the whole story was made up and that there was no Morgan. He jokes about how unsatisfying it is to find out that the story was not true.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The text is a transcript of a comedy show by Randy Feltface, a purple puppet comedian.
2. The text is about Randy's experience of buying a bookshelf on Gumtree, an online marketplace.
3. The text reveals that the seller of the bookshelf, Morgan, is a graphic designer who recently discovered his wife cheating on him with his best friend.
4. The text describes how Morgan goes on a rampage of destruction in his house, smashing walls, windows, furniture and cars with a mailbox and an armchair.
5. The text ends with a twist that the whole story was made up by Randy as a joke.
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