A possible concise summary is:
The text is a humorous and informal retelling of the Disney movie Red, which is about a girl named May who can turn into a red panda when she gets emotional. The text summarizes the main plot points, such as May's family history, her love for a boy band, her struggle to control her transformation, and her final acceptance of her panda self. The text also includes the narrator's opinions, jokes, and reactions to the movie. The text ends with the narrator promoting his social media accounts and merchandise.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The text is a summary of a movie called Red, about a girl who turns into a red panda.
2. The girl's name is May and she lives in Toronto with her strict mother Ming and her father Yingling.
3. May is a fan of a boy band called Four Town and wants to go to their concert, but her mother forbids it.
4. May inherits the ability to transform into a red panda from her ancestor Soon Yi, who loved the animals and asked the gods for this gift.
5. May has to learn to control her emotions to avoid transforming, and she also has to perform a ritual on the night of the red moon to seal her panda inside a talisman.
6. May's friends help her earn money for the concert tickets by using her panda as an attraction, but they also get into trouble with a bully named Tyler.
7. On the night of the ritual, May decides to keep her transformation and goes to the concert with her friends, but her mother also transforms into a giant panda and causes chaos.
8. May and her family manage to calm down the mother and complete the ritual with the help of Soon Yi, who appears as a spirit.
9. May and her mother reconcile and become more relaxed, while the temple becomes more popular because of the magic panda.