A possible summary is:
The text is a transcript of a video that makes fun of the movie 2012 by pointing out its plot holes, cliches, and unrealistic scenes. The narrator sarcastically comments on the characters, the dialogue, the science, and the action sequences of the movie. He also adds some jokes, references, and advertisements in between. The video ends with a parody of a shaving product promotion.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. Scientists in South Korea achieved a nuclear fusion reaction at 100 million°C for 30 seconds.
2. The core of the Sun has a temperature of 15 million degrees kelvins.
3. There was a G8 summit in 2010 in Huntsville, Ontario, Canada.
4. The world is facing a cataclysmic event due to the alignment of the planets and the destabilization of the Earth's crust.
5. Jackson Curtis is a struggling writer and a limo driver who tries to save his family from the disaster.
6. Yuri Karpov is a Russian billionaire who has tickets to board a secret ark in China.
7. Charlie Frost is a conspiracy theorist who broadcasts from Yellowstone and predicts the end of the world.
8. Dr. Adrian Helmsley is a geologist who works for the US government and tries to warn people about the impending doom.
9. President Thomas Wilson decides to stay behind and die with his people while his daughter Laura escapes on an ark.
10. The arks are massive ships that can withstand the massive floods and earthquakes that engulf the world.