A possible concise summary is:
A team of astronauts from Earth travels to the other side of a wormhole to stop a superweapon that can brainwash the entire population. They meet friendly aliens who help them with their mission. Along the way, they encounter enemies and discover the power of the Force. They manage to deactivate the superweapon and return home safely. One of the astronauts brings back a special drink for his son, who is about to propose to a girl.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The text is a transcript of a video that is a parody of Star Wars and Interstellar.
2. The main characters are a team of four humans (Captain, Banker, Bobo Bear and Todd) and a robot (Tara) who go on a space mission to investigate a wormhole.
3. The wormhole is created by a superweapon that can brainwash the population of Earth, controlled by the Imperial forces led by Darth Lizard and Emperor Poutine.
4. The team meets an alien named John who helps them infiltrate the Imperial base and deactivate the superweapon.
5. Banker has a son who is staying with a CIA agent and her daughter Ashley, whom he likes.
6. Banker drinks green milk that allows him to understand any language he hears first after drinking it.
7. Captain uses the dark force and a lightsaber to defeat Darth Lizard and Emperor Poutine, who turn out to be former FBI agents from Earth.
8. John gives Banker some green milk for his son as a gift before they return to Earth through a portal opened by Captain's magic.