The summary is:
The speaker is a comedian who tells jokes about various topics, such as his girlfriend's desire to have a baby, his fear of being accused of murder, his experience of watching porn with his girl, and his admiration for a porn actor who can control his ejaculation. He uses a lot of profanity, exaggeration, and self-deprecation to make his audience laugh. He ends his act by thanking the audience and leaving the stage
Some possible facts extracted from the text are:
- The speaker is a comedian who performs stand-up comedy.
- The speaker is diabetic and overweight.
- The speaker has a girlfriend who wants to have a baby.
- The speaker watches porn with his girlfriend and tries to imitate it.
- The speaker is afraid of being accused of killing a white woman or being a rapist.
- The speaker is impressed by a porn actor who can control his ejaculation by counting down