The following is a possible concise summary of the text:
The text is a transcript of a segment from the show Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, where he criticizes President Trump's plan to hire 5,000 more Border Patrol agents. He argues that the last hiring surge under President Bush resulted in corruption, misconduct, and excessive force among the agents, due to poor screening, training, and oversight. He also questions the need for more agents, given the decline in illegal immigration and the increase in asylum seekers. He suggests that the job of a Border Patrol agent is not as exciting or heroic as the government advertises, but rather a mixture of boredom and humanitarian work. He ends with a parody of a recruitment ad that shows the realistic challenges and expectations of the job.
Here are some possible key facts extracted from the text:
1. President Trump wants to hire 5,000 more Border Patrol agents to secure the border and stop drugs and crime.
2. The Border Patrol has a history of corruption, misconduct and excessive force, especially after the last hiring surge under President Bush.
3. The Border Patrol faces challenges such as boredom, language barriers, humanitarian crises and drug cartels.
4. The Border Patrol has made some reforms, such as giving agents more non-lethal weapons and prohibiting shooting fleeing suspects, but many problems remain.
5. The inspector general for homeland security questions the need for more Border Patrol agents and warns about lowering hiring standards.