A possible concise summary is:
This is a transcript of an episode of Just A Dash, a cooking show hosted by Matty Matheson. In this episode, Matty makes two kinds of pizza: a white pie with vegetables from his garden, and a pepperoni pizza with buffalo pepperoni. He also talks about Pizza Gate, a conspiracy theory that he doesn't fully understand, and his mustache, which he grew back to please his fans. He jokes around with his crew, chokes on a pepperoni with plastic wrap, and threatens to beat up anyone who leaves a negative comment. He claims that his show is the best and that his viewers can make better pizza than him.
Here are some key facts extracted from the text:
1. The text is a transcript of a video where Matty Matheson, a chef and TV personality, makes two kinds of pizza: a vegetable pizza and a pepperoni pizza.
2. The video is part of a series called Just A Dash, which is a cooking show with a humorous and chaotic style.
3. Matty chokes on a plastic-wrapped pepperoni that Michelle, his assistant, gives him, and he accuses her of trying to kill him.
4. Matty mentions Pizza Gate, a conspiracy theory that falsely claimed that a pizzeria in Washington DC was involved in a child sex trafficking ring linked to Hillary Clinton and other politicians.
5. Matty makes his own pizza dough with yeast, water, olive oil, salt and flour, and lets it ferment for three days in the fridge.
6. Matty makes his own tomato sauce with olive oil, onion, garlic, canned tomatoes, basil, oregano, salt and pepper.
7. Matty tops his vegetable pizza with Parmesan cheese, mozzarella cheese, cherry tomatoes, squash flowers, spigarello leaves, Tuscan kale, green onion, ricotta cheese and lemon zest.
8. Matty tops his pepperoni pizza with Parmesan cheese, mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce, basil leaves and pepperoni slices.
9. Matty bakes his pizzas in the oven at 500 degrees Fahrenheit for about 20 minutes each.
10. Matty promotes manscape.com, a website that sells products for grooming men's body hair, as a sponsor of his show.