A possible concise summary is:
The text is a transcript of several comedy sketches about awkward restaurant situations. The sketches include: a couple who tries to avoid the birthday song, a customer who wants to eat alone, a waiter who doesn't write down the orders, a customer who finds feces in his salad, a couple who gets full service from the staff, and a group who shares plates. The sketches are meant to be humorous and exaggerated.
Here are some possible facts extracted from the text:
1. The text is a collection of comedy sketches about different scenarios in restaurants.
2. The first sketch is about a couple who tries to avoid the restaurant staff singing happy birthday to them.
3. The second sketch is about a customer who finds a piece of human feces in his salad and the waiter who tries to fix it.
4. The third sketch is about a group of friends who struggle to order food from a sharing menu.
5. The fourth sketch is about a full-service restaurant where the staff take care of everything, including feeding and wiping the customers.
6. The fifth sketch is a self-promotion for the creators of the text, who stream on Twitch.