The provided text seems to be a transcript of a review or commentary on a movie or video game, likely related to the "Alien" franchise, given the references to xenomorphs. However, the text is not coherent and seems to be a mix of different ideas and points. Here's a summary of the main points:
1. The reviewer starts by expressing excitement about a game where players can become a legendary captain and upgrade their ship. They promise to give away a premium cruiser and a million silver to players who register.
2. The reviewer then criticizes the design of a spaceship Kotakbas, which is used for colonizing distant planets. They question why the ship has such a large crew, including only one android, and why the ship's systems are so unreliable. They also express frustration about the lack of a fire extinguishing system.
3. The reviewer criticizes the crew of the spaceship, complaining about their lack of personality and their reckless behavior. They also express surprise that the crew members, who are selected for a multi-year space mission, are seemingly so irresponsible.
4. The reviewer criticizes the use of outdated weapons in the game, such as the AR-15 series, which are almost 150 years old at the time of the movie.
5. The reviewer expresses frustration with the lack of practicality and common sense shown by the characters in the game. For example, they criticize a character for not asking a robot about the threat of a deadly virus and another character for not asking about the fate of the Prometheus team.
6. The reviewer criticizes the game for its lack of inspection of the ship and the lack of reasonable precautions. They also express frustration about the game's lack of logical progression and the illogical behavior of the characters.
7. The reviewer concludes by expressing their dissatisfaction with the game and expressing their desire for a better game that takes more time to develop and is more thoughtfully designed.
Please note that this summary is based on the assumption that the text is a review or commentary on a game or video based on the "Alien" franchise. The text is not coherent and seems to be a mix of different ideas and points, making it difficult to provide a more detailed summary.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The text is a transcript of a video review of the movie Alien: Covenant.
2. The reviewer criticizes the movie for its illogical plot, stupid characters, and inconsistent world-building.
3. The reviewer gives many examples of the movie's flaws, such as the crew's lack of safety protocols, the engineers' vulnerability, and David's manipulation.
4. The reviewer uses sarcasm, profanity, and hyperbole to express his dissatisfaction with the movie.
5. The reviewer praises James Franco for dying early in the movie and avoiding being part of the crew's idiocy.