Here is a possible summary:
This is a transcript of a video that tells stories of some criminals who are so stupid that they make police work easy. The video gives examples of criminals who failed to rob a bank, a jewelry store, a fish and chip shop, and a liquor store because of their incompetence with doors, locks, and disguises. It also tells stories of criminals who gave away their identity or location by leaving their birth certificate, snoring under a bed, barking like a dog, dragging a ham leg, or farting loudly. The video also mentions some criminals who tried to bribe the police with donuts, steal gas from a cop's car, or escape on a scooter. The video invites viewers to share their own stories of dumb criminals and to subscribe to the channel.
Here are some possible facts extracted from the text:
1. A man in Belfast tried to shoplift from Tesco while wearing a personalized Manchester United shirt.
2. A cigar shop owner in Belgium convinced a group of thieves to return later twice and then called the police.
3. A woman in Boston had her purse stolen by a thief who left her own bag with her birth certificate and a note from her mother.
4. A Florida man tried to steal cars from a prison parking lot minutes after being released from jail.
5. A thief in Oregon got stuck in a grease vent for two days while trying to rob a Chinese restaurant.
6. A thief in Kentucky used duct tape as a mask to rob a liquor store but was chased away by the manager with a wooden stick.
7. A thief in Missouri was caught by the police after his loud fart gave away his hiding spot under a bed.
8. A drunk man in Scotland stole a scooter and led the police on a five-mile-per-hour chase.