A possible summary is:
The text is a transcript of a segment from the show Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, where he criticizes Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor of New York City and the current lawyer of Donald Trump. Oliver traces Giuliani's career from his days as a federal prosecutor and a popular mayor after 9/11, to his failed presidential bid in 2008 and his controversial involvement in Trump's scandals. Oliver mocks Giuliani's personal life, his legal expertise, his media appearances, and his obsession with 9/11. He also reveals that he bought several domain names related to Giuliani and redirected them to videos of ferrets, implying that Giuliani is a "cousin-fucker". Oliver concludes by questioning what will happen to Giuliani in the future and suggesting that he might become president.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. Rudy Giuliani was a federal prosecutor and the mayor of New York City on 9/11.
2. Giuliani joined Trump's legal team in 2018 and contradicted Trump's statements on the payment to Stormy Daniels and the firing of James Comey.
3. Giuliani was a cybersecurity advisor for Trump despite having no real background in cybersecurity and having security issues with his own websites.
4. Giuliani ran for president in 2007 but failed to win any state or delegate and spent about $50 million on his campaign.
5. Giuliani had a tough-on-crime stance as mayor and cracked down on quality of life crimes, which antagonized many people of color and civil rights activists.
6. Giuliani had three marriages, one of which was to his second cousin, and he announced his separation from his second wife in a news conference without telling her first.
7. Giuliani cashed in on his reputation after 9/11 by writing a book, giving speeches, and launching a consulting firm that represented controversial clients such as tobacco companies, private prisons, and opioid manufacturers.
8. Giuliani appeared in various media outlets such as movies, TV shows, and cable news, where he said various awful things and leveraged 9/11 for his own ends.
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