The speaker, presumably a critic or reviewer, is discussing a poorly made horror movie titled "Aksum". He describes the film as the worst he's ever seen, with issues ranging from poor audio and video quality, nonsensical dialogue, and a plot that is difficult to follow.
The film's protagonists are a group of friends who go to a cabin for a weekend getaway. The speaker notes that the movie doesn't even bother to establish the characters' names, and the plot is so convoluted that he had to watch the movie three times to understand what was happening.
The speaker also highlights various technical issues, such as the audio and video not synchronizing correctly, and scenes abruptly ending in the middle of a sentence. He particularly criticizes a scene where the characters are driving to the cabin and parking in the middle of nowhere, only to have a character appear seemingly out of the woods to meet them.
The film's antagonist, Aksum, is described as a figure who can teleport and uses various weapons, including a phone, a machete, a baseball bat, and a gun. The speaker also mentions a scene where a character trips and slides on nothing, and another where a character leaves the movie abruptly without dying or being killed.
The speaker concludes by stating that "Aksum" is a complete failure, with issues ranging from poor dialogue, non-existent plot, and unresolved character motivations. Despite its many flaws, he gives the film a 9.5 out of 10 for "Happy Halloween".
Here are the key facts extracted from the text:
1. The text is a transcript of a video review of a horror movie called Aksum.
2. The reviewer claims that Aksum is the worst movie he has ever seen because of its poor quality, incomprehensible plot, and bad acting.
3. The movie is about a group of people who go to a cabin in the woods and are attacked by a killer who uses various weapons but not an axe.
4. The movie has many technical issues such as bad audio, bad video, bad editing, and bad lighting.
5. The movie was made by Michael Mephone, who dedicated it to his dead grandmother but got her date of death wrong.
6. The reviewer gives the movie a 9.5 out of 10 as a joke.