This is a possible summary of the text:
The text is a transcript of a humorous video commentary by Antoine Daniel, a French YouTuber who reviews bizarre and absurd videos from the internet. The video is divided into three parts, each focusing on a different video. The first one is about a group of people dressed as cartoon characters who attack a driver in Russia. The second one is about a poorly written dialogue between a woman and an electrician who wears a mask and asks her to blow him. The third one is about a Japanese man who wears a horse mask and performs various activities such as cooking mushrooms, dancing on the beach and fishing. Antoine Daniel makes jokes and observations about the videos, their logic, their plot and their realism. He also interacts with his plushy Richard and his fan Samuel, who are his imaginary friends. He ends the video by saying that he is back after a long absence and that he hopes his viewers enjoyed the episode.
Here are the key facts from the text:
1. Space pirates attacked Earth, targeting capitals, towns, and villages.
2. Pacifist associations, led by Jeff Surf, tried to communicate with the space pirates but were unsuccessful.
3. Riots broke out, and people fled to the countryside, but later returned to the cities due to lack of 4G internet.
4. Governments united to counter the space pirate threat, except for Peru.
5. The war between humans and space pirates raged on, with neither side gaining the upper hand.
6. The world population lost interest in the conflict when nude photos of Angela Merkel and Susan Boyle were leaked online.
7. The space pirates looted global whisky, beer, and rum stocks, leading to a decrease in their fighting abilities due to intoxication.
8. Camels from Pluto attacked Earth in retaliation for not being considered a planet.
9. Humans and space pirates united to defeat the Pluto camels, except for Bernard Broutin, who refused to fight.
10. The conflict was resolved through a game of rock-paper-scissors, which the camels lost due to not having fingers.
11. The camels retreated to Pluto, which was renamed "Lame Pluto" as a humiliation.
12. Society recovered from the conflict, but with a massive hangover.
13. Antoine Daniel was at a bar called "Le Choix de Buscarron" during the entire conflict, unaware of the events unfolding outside.
14. The bar had rules, including no nuclear weapons, no camels, and a prohibition on saying the word "shit".
15. Antoine Daniel had been in the bar for three months, borrowing money from various patrons without paying them back.
16. A fight broke out in the bar, and Antoine Daniel used a "Holy Shovel" to defend himself.
17. Antoine Daniel made a video about a Russian dashcam video featuring cartoon characters attacking people.
18. He also made a video about a German porn movie with a surreal intro and poor dialogue.
19. Wotaken, a Japanese experimental performer artist, created videos featuring himself in a horse mask, cooking mushrooms and engaging in bizarre activities.
20. Antoine Daniel reflected on the importance of internet in showcasing individual strangeness and uniqueness.
Please note that some of these "facts" might be humorous or absurd, as the text appears to be a transcript of a comedic video or podcast.