A possible concise summary is:
Three kids borrow their teacher's laser pointer and accidentally cause a plane to crash by blinding the pilot. They try to hide the evidence by putting the laser pointer in one of their butts. They return the laser pointer to the school and blame the teacher, who gets arrested. The pilot visits them and gives them a trophy for telling the truth, but then finds out they lied. He asks why the laser pointer smells bad and one of the kids admits it was in his ass.
Here are some possible facts extracted from the text:
1. Cody got Lasik surgery and doesn't need glasses anymore.
2. The teacher has a laser pointer that he uses to teach about the speed of light.
3. Jeffy stole the laser pointer and shined it in Cody's eyes, a helicopter, and a plane.
4. The plane crashed after the pilot was blinded by the laser pointer.
5. The pilot survived the crash and came to Junior's house to use the phone.
6. Junior, Joseph, and Cody returned the laser pointer to the teacher's desk.
7. The teacher was arrested for pointing the laser at the plane.
8. Jeffy hid the laser pointer in his rectal hole.