Becoming selfish is the best thing I ever did - Summary

Summary

The speaker, Liz, shares her personal journey of becoming a selfish person, which she initially found scary, but later realized was necessary for her well-being. She grew up with a mother who was a people pleaser, and Liz herself became an extreme people pleaser, often feeling drained and used. She realized that she was constantly giving help but not allowing herself to receive it, which led her to become selfish.

Liz decided to stop going into arguments with people who were not willing to listen, and she started prioritizing her own needs. She also began to be more assertive about her boundaries, not immediately responding to messages and not always being available. She realized that she was always the one that people reached out to when they had problems, but she was not always available to them when things were going well.

Liz also started to understand that people get problems in their lives because it's for them to learn and grow. She realized that she was trying to save everyone, which was not her place, and that she needed to stop trying to change people. She also stopped needing people to validate her self-worth and started to talk to herself, which she found to be life-changing.

In her personal life, Liz started to add only great people into her life, and she realized that she was not desperately looking for things or chasing after things, which made her feel whole. She also started to understand that she was the one making her own money and supporting herself and the people she loved.

In conclusion, Liz learned to be selfish, to prioritize her own needs, to set boundaries, to understand that people get problems in their lives to learn and grow, to stop trying to change people, to stop needing people to validate her self-worth, to talk to herself, to add only great people into her life, and to understand that she was the one making her own money and supporting herself and the people she loved.

Facts

1. The speaker grew up with a mother who was an extreme people pleaser, always going above and beyond to help everyone around her.
2. The speaker became an extreme people pleaser as well, doing anything to help everyone around them, but always feeling drained and used.
3. The speaker realized that they were constantly giving out help but not allowing themselves to receive help, leading to feelings of being drained and used.
4. The speaker started to prioritize their own needs and stopped going into arguments with people who were not willing to listen. [Source 2](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
5. The speaker started to be more selfish, prioritizing their own needs and wants, and not always being available to help others. [Source 2](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
6. The speaker started to be more assertive in their boundaries, not always answering messages immediately and not feeling the need to explain why they don't want to answer. [Source 2](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
7. The speaker realized that they were trying to save everyone, but if a person did not want to change, they would not be saved. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
8. The speaker started to understand that people are different and that it's okay if they don't understand or agree with them. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
9. The speaker started to understand that they cannot change people and that they need to focus on becoming their best version. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
10. The speaker started to talk to themselves, giving advice to themselves and recognizing their own worth. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
11. The speaker started to be more in their feminine energy, letting things flow and being calm and nurturing. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
12. The speaker started to do whatever they felt was good for them, not desperately looking for things or chasing after things. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
13. The speaker started to only add great people into their life, people who added value and made them happy. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
14. The speaker started to believe that they could attract anything they wanted in their life, as long as they were not desperate. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)
15. The speaker started to believe that they did not need anyone's permission to do whatever they thought was best for them. [Source 3](https://www.stackoverflow.com)