The text appears to be a transcript of a video game playthrough, specifically a "Surprise Me" game. The game involves a character named Penelope who makes a series of decisions throughout her life, from childhood to adulthood.
Penelope is born as a surprise pregnancy, and her life is filled with various surprises. She has a stepfather named John who is not kind and doesn't have money. Her mother wants to buy her a pet gopher snake named Slip. Penelope is bullied by her classmate Wilma, who hides her clothes during gym class. She reports Wilma to the principal, but the girl isn't punished.
Penelope's mother also wants to take her on a family vacation to Machu Picchu, but Penelope prefers to join her classmate Betty at karaoke night. Penelope has a dream about her classmate Lea, and they both wake up and dream about each other. Penelope starts high school and joins the video games club.
Penelope's boyfriend Lee wants to break up with her, but she refuses. She applies to university but is rejected. She then learns to drive and joins the Marines. She is ordered to deploy to a volatile zone in Saudi Arabia to clear a minefield, but she refuses. She is caught trying to desert the Marines and is sent to prison.
Upon release, Penelope starts working as a janitor at Nebula Foods. She encounters a stray cat and decides to keep it as a pet. She also starts rock climbing. Penelope's life takes a turn when she gets food poisoning from a frog leg. She is fired from her job at Nebula Foods for refusing to work unpaid overtime.
Penelope's life takes another turn when she is offered $10,000 to take a duffel bag to Pakistan. She accepts the offer and gets busted. She is sentenced to prison again, where she encounters various other prisoners.
In the final scenario, Penelope dies at 48, leaving behind a net worth of $149,000. The game concludes with the narrator expressing surprise at Penelope's life and suggesting that she enjoyed the game.
1. The main character, referred to as "happy damn" or "Penelope", is a young girl who has recently discovered she is pregnant as a result of a surprise Tinder hook-up [Document(page_content="00:00:00.00: happy damn otherwise known as Penelope\n00:00:02.66: Mayfield I was a result of a random\n00:00:04.83: tinder hook-up I was a surprise surprise\n00:00:07.14: pregnancy hello everything about my life\n00:00:09.81: is about to be a surprise I'm not gonna\n00:00:12.57: make any choices for her I'm just gonna\n00:00:14.28: get to know her a little girl named Ava\n00:00:16.14: wants to become your friend how cute\n00:00:18.27: please don't reject her why would you do\n00:00:21.06: that\n00:00:21.33: I have coronavirus what is going on is\n00:00:24.27: this karma for rejecting my first friend\n00:00:26.43: am I gonna live am I even gonna have a\n00:00:28.44: life I'm gonna take the tiniest little\n00:00:30.27: phone in the world and like to make a\n00:00:31.50: call hello please\n00:00:33.78: Penelope please don't you go dying on me\n00:00:35.70: all right thank you a little girl named\n00:00:38.04: Bobby sue wants to become your friend\n00:00:39.72: okay she's a good-looking girl she's\n00:00:41.85: smart she's not crazy this is the\n00:00:43.80: perfect friend please become friends now\n00:00:46.23: why do you keep rejecting all of your\n00:00:48.75: friends if I was in a steering wheel\n00:00:50.64: here I would definitely make sure that\n00:00:52.86: you had a friend or two why not your\n00:00:55.32: mother wants to buy you a pet gopher\n00:00:57.15: snake named it slip okay I mean that's a\n00:00:59.76: healthy happy smart crazy eye this girl\n00:01:04.17: doesn't want anything\n00:01:06.23: excuse me your mother has married your\n00:01:08.64: new stepfather Jong Kook 33 year-old\n00:01:11.01: hairdresser he's not kind and he doesn't\n00:01:13.08: have money and they went to Edinburgh\n00:01:14.37: without us for their honeymoon I think\n00:01:16.62: I'm mad about that now that you have a\n00:01:18.03: stepfather you're wondering how to\n00:01:19.47: address him what will you call him now\n00:01:22.53: I'm afraid of this surprising me because\n00:01:24.27: like what if I call him buddy and he\n00:01:26.52: just doesn't like me for the rest of his\n00:01:27.84: life John Oh calling him his first name