The transcript is a humorous and exaggerated simulation of a day in the life of a store clerk, played by Markiplier. The job simulation is set in a convenience store, and the clerk encounters a variety of bot customers with unique personalities and needs.
The simulation begins with a bot customer asking if Markiplier is a fan of slushies and hot dogs, to which he responds affirmatively. The bot customer then suggests that Markiplier would love working at a convenience store.
Markiplier then shares a humorous anecdote about his previous job, working as a non-food stocking clerk at a Kroger's store in Cincinnati. He mentions that his duties included stocking adult diapers.
Throughout the simulation, Markiplier interacts with various bot customers, each with their unique requests and quirks. These include a bot customer who wants a frozen slushy delight, an elderly bot customer who wants a paper copy of yesterday's news, and a bot customer who wants to buy a lottery ticket.
Markiplier also encounters a bot customer who is a stoner and wants a large burrito. He uses a "magic machine" to create a large burrito for the customer, who laughs and says he wants to split it evenly.
The simulation concludes with a bot customer who is a cop asking Markiplier to identify the thief who stole his cheddar. After identifying the thief, the simulation ends with the police taking the thief away.
Throughout the simulation, Markiplier uses various exaggerated expressions and reactions to interact with the bot customers, adding to the comedic nature of the simulation.
0:15:33.60: [Lady Bot]: I need a drink. Something with caffeine, please!\n00:15:36.32: [Mark]: I don\'t know what that is, but it\'s got what plants crave!\n00:15:41.04: [Lady Bot]: That\'s... not what I was expecting.\n00:15:43.82: [Mark]: I don\'t know what that is, but it\'s got what plants crave!\n00:15:47.34: [Lady Bot]: Okay, I\'ll take that. I\'ll take that.\n00:15:50.64: [Mark]: Okay! Here you go! That\'s a lot of caffeine!\n00:15:53.68: [Lady Bot]: No, it\'s not. I can handle that. I\'m a big girl.\n00:15:58.64: [Mark]: Well, okay. Here you go. Enjoy your life.\n00:16:01.54: [Lady Bot]: You\'re very kind. Thank you.\n00:16:05.72: [Job Bot]: To finalize a sale, pull the lever on the register.\n00:16:09.06: [Mark]: Kerchunkles!\n00:16:11.20: [Lady Bot]: All righty! Here\'s your paper currency.\n[Mark]: Oh, you had a-- Oh.\n00:16:16.50: Wha--uh-- Gah.\n00:16:19.86: Okay! You're dumb! We're doing it! We're cooperating!\n00:16:24.68: [Mark quietly cries to self]\n00:16:26.22: There you go.\n00:16:28.20: [Lady Bot]: Many thanks! Have a PROFITABLE day!\n00:16:32.76: [Mark]: Hey! Profit! Okay. Did I do good, boss?\n00:16:37.14: Did I do good? I don't know what I'm doing.\n00:16:40.34: [Job Bot]: It was important for stores like this to maintain a constant stream of customers,\n00:16:44.62: so the cashiers wouldn't have time to contemplate their rapidly approaching obsolescence.\n00:16:51.12: [Mark]: Okay, then. That's a little unnecessary.\n00:16:54.54: Boink! Boink. Boink! Boink.\n00:16:56.54: [Classy Bot]: Will you kind-- Ah, yes, much better!\n00:17:00.22: [Mark]: Haha, give me money! Now!\n00:17:02.32: [Classy Bot]: I\'ll take one of those frozen slushy delights!\n00:17:05.72: [Mark]: Wh--sh-- Fuck you. Okay.\n00:17:08.80: Frozen slushy delights. I like to mix n\' match!\n00:17:12.56: I don't know about you guys at home, but it's my baby.\n00:17:15.90: [Classy Bot]: Would you be able to jumbo-size that?\n00:17:18.80: [Mark, mockingly]: How do I jumbo-size this? How do I do that?\n00:17:23.96: Here you go! Boink!\n00:17:26.80: Have a good day! Oh, I can maximi-- Ohh!\n00:17:30.04: [Classy Bot]: I love the taste of sugar!\n[Mark]: [miming gulping down the drink]\n00:17:33.30: Okay, I'm gonna need to get you some more, because--\n00:17:35.44: Battery acid blue! Thermal paste pink!\n00:17:38.34: I actually imagine that I would enjoy battery acid blue,\n00:17:42.24: because I love all types of blue drinks.\n00:17:47.00: [Classy Bot]: You are very good at scanning! Now, would you pass that to me?\n00:17:49.90: [Mark]: You got it, buddy! I didn't know if I--\n00:18:00.04: [Classy Bot]: And here's some bank notes for you!\n[Mark]: Okay.\n00:18:01.80: [Classy Bot]: Keep the change, good human!\n[Mark]: Keep the change? What? Fuck off! I don't need your charity!\n00:18:05.80: [Classy Bot]: You are very good at scanning! Now, would you pass that to me?\n00:18:07.84: [Mark]: You got it, buddy! I didn't know if I--\n00:18:09.92: [Classy Bot]: And here's some bank notes for you!\n[Mark]: Okay.\n00:18:11.60: [Classy Bot]: Keep the