The provided text is a transcript of a video by KSI, a popular social media influencer and YouTuber. In the video, KSI shares some of his thoughts, relates some personal stories, and interacts with his fans.
He starts by expressing his feelings of hungoverness after the Brits event, and his preparations for a tour he's about to embark on. He promises to record one more video before he leaves and shares a humorous attempt at a joke, which he admits he may not laugh at.
He then discusses a variety of topics, from the future of science and technology to the concept of 'accidents' and 'crimes'. He also shares a humorous anecdote about an Uber driver who stares at him and refuses to engage in conversation.
KSI also shares a story about a self-balancing thief who was captured on supermarket CCTV stealing sports drinks. He humorously suggests that the thief could have been him, but he assures his audience that he wouldn't rob them.
KSI also interacts with his audience, asking for their opinions and sharing jokes. He mentions a new sideline game he's thinking of starting, where participants would have to wear razor blades and then run away.
In the middle of the video, KSI shares a tribute to his friend Lucas Armitage, who was recently featured on the show for bravely defending his family from an intruder. KSI and Lucas share a humorous conversation about their shared love for the game "Fifa".
Towards the end of the video, KSI shares a joke about a man who has four kids named North, South, East, and... West. He also shares a joke about a man who is about to go fishing and loses his fishing pole.
Finally, KSI shares that he will be going on tour and promises to record more videos halfway through. He bids his fans farewell and ends the video with a sign off, "Peace".
1. The speaker, Ksi, is recording a video and is not in the right frame of mind to laugh at a joke about the aging of cells. He mentions that he will not leave his fans empty-handed before leaving for a tour .
2. Ksi mentions a self-balancing thief who was captured on supermarket CCTV stealing a crate of sports drinks. The thief was captured riding a hoverboard into a shop in Mitchum, South London .
3. Ksi discusses a situation where he was involved in a confrontation with a burglar who was trying to steal items from his home. The burglar was shot in the leg and fell down screaming .
4. Ksi talks about a job interview scenario where the applicant graduated from a university with a degree in "walking face with a minor water and snow" and is also a dentist that fits his feet at the vet .
5. Ksi discusses the snow conditions at a ski resort, where they have received 16 inches of natural snow over the past week .
6. The speaker mentions a football match between Manchester City and Sunderland, with Manchester City snatching the title away from Manchester United .
7. Ksi discusses a job interview scenario where the applicant graduated from a university with a degree in "walking face with a minor water and snow" and is also a dentist that fits his feet at the vet .
8. The speaker mentions a football match between Manchester City and Sunderland, with Manchester City snatching the title away from Manchester United .
9. Ksi talks about a situation where he was involved in a confrontation with a burglar who was trying to steal items from his home. The burglar was shot in the leg and fell down screaming .
10. Ksi discusses the snow conditions at a ski resort, where they have received 16 inches of natural snow over the past week .