The speaker, a Nigerian author, discusses her experiences with gender and feminism. She recounts her friend Okuloma's death and how he was the first to call her a feminist, despite her not fully understanding the term at the time. She shares her personal journey with feminism, from being a happy feminist to a happy African feminist, and how she has evolved her views over time.
The speaker also discusses her observations about gender roles in Nigeria, such as the expectation for girls to cook and clean and the societal pressure on women to be "homely" wives. She criticizes the notion that women are born with a cooking gene and calls for a focus on ability and interest instead of gender when raising children.
She expresses her struggle with gender expectations and the need to prove her worth as a female professor. She shares her personal experience of wearing a manly suit to a teaching job to be taken seriously and how she has since learned to be more comfortable in her femininity.
Finally, she urges men to actively think about and notice gender, and to challenge and change gender norms. She concludes by stating her commitment to being respected in all aspects of her femaleness.
1. The speaker's brother and best friend, Chuks and Ike, are part of the organizing team of an event.
2. The speaker is happy to be part of a team that cares about Africa.
3. The speaker has a niece named Kamzia Adichie in the audience.
4. The speaker has a friend named Okuloma who lived on her street and looked after her like a big brother.
5. Okuloma died in the Sosoliso Plane Crash in Nigeria in December 2005.
6. Okuloma was the first person to call the speaker a feminist.
7. The speaker wrote a novel about a man who beats his wife and whose story doesn't end very well.
8. The speaker's friend Louis told her that he didn't understand how men could not see what seems so self-evident.
9. The speaker believes that men rule the world because they are physically stronger.
10. The speaker believes that women are more likely to be intelligent, creative, and innovative.
11. The speaker feels invisible and upset when people ignore her.
12. The speaker believes that gender matters everywhere in the world, but she wants to focus on Nigeria and Africa in general.
13. The speaker believes that we must raise our daughters differently and also our sons differently.
14. The speaker believes that we teach boys to be afraid of fear and weakness, and we teach girls to shrink themselves.
15. The speaker believes that the language of marriage is often the language of ownership rather than the language of partnership.
16. The speaker believes that we teach females that in relationships, compromise is what women do.
17. The speaker believes that we teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.
18. The speaker believes that boys and girls are undeniably different biologically, but socialization exaggerates the differences.
19. The speaker believes that what matters even more is our attitude, our mindset, what we believe and what we value about gender.
20. The speaker believes that in raising children, we should focus on ability instead of gender.
21. The speaker believes that the first time she taught a writing class in graduate school, she was worried about what to wear.