The text appears to be a script or transcript of a video or podcast. The speaker discusses various topics, including cemeteries, tombstones, recipes, and personal anecdotes. The speaker also mentions some humorous and absurd scenarios, such as a tombstone with a recipe, a tombstone with a warning to "go away", and a tombstone with a message from a woman who lived like a princess. The speaker also shares personal experiences and thoughts, such as their living room, their love for their daughters, and their dislike for certain foods. The speaker also mentions a few historical figures and events, such as the death of Micah in 2001 and the death of George in 1882. The speaker also shares some personal anecdotes, such as their experience with a barber and their thoughts on hairline. The speaker also mentions some popular culture references, such as the TV show "Y" and the movie "Jack Lemmon in Y". The speaker ends the text by encouraging viewers to comment on the video or podcast.
1. The speaker is in their living room.
2. The speaker is discussing funny tombstones.
3. The speaker mentions a recipe for fudge.
4. The speaker mentions a tombstone with the text "your lives and atheist all dressed up in no place to go this one says vacancy does this mean that there's someone in there or not died from not forwarding that text messages kid people".
5. The speaker mentions a tombstone with the text "hugo first been better sliced all day bull died we finally found a place to park and george and if you just want a simple two stone just put dead then eighty years old killed three british soldiers he was shot beaten and left for dead but recovered and lived to be 98 years of age huh I don't understand the question that's all folks man of 1,000 voices".
6. The speaker mentions a tombstone with the text "beloved husband and father what is funny about that here lies John yeast part of me for not rising Merv Griffin or Griffin I will not be right back after this message ABCD Ouija board they put a wicked water on a bridge on go away I can't hear without being consulted and I leave without my consent".
7. The speaker mentions a tombstone with the text "Susan was destined to be a woman with too many cats and there is not one cat in sight you would think at least one of them will be grateful damn it's dark down here but no one Bank says nothing he paints he Arthur spanks his wife think of me think of me and smile is that a buck in the tooth all and looks like a but it looks like that McDonald's holiday local moms Christmas cookies oh I don't need your recipes on your toaster but if you must know the cream is one cup sugar and a half cup Oh Leo had to be an eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla and add 3 cups flour 3 tsp baking powder 1 season do cemetery's charge per character because why the two ads on that tombstone add three years bake 350 degrees of it and frost I might actually do that and Christmas is right around the corner sucks to be me yeah it really does because I don't even know your name when you were born".
8. The speaker mentions a tombstone with the text "Micah died in 2001 y'all and he says I see dumb people bourbon my wife off this cemetery made a killing my wife Eleanor of Queens New York live like a princess for 20 years travel the world with the best of everything".
9. The speaker mentions a tombstone with the text "when I went blind she tried to poison me took all my money on my medication and left me in the dark trying to poison you you dead it's a miracle I escaped I won't see her in heaven because she's Charlie go to hell one way do not enter this lays burger and right across its fries dumb seat on Jackson so you're just gonna let me sit on your brain Robert never killed a man that did not need killing I'm a rider but then nobody's perfect what does that even mean thanks for stopping by however unless you are a who also believes in the least thing you guys can do the least thing you guys can do is Lisa send me a dozen roses something for paying on time don't let me find out you calling my relatives for that extra pigment that you miss because I'm dead George says I knew this would happen mark the world or the tide is high in so am I here lies George hanged by mistake in 1882 he was right we was wrong but we strong him up and now he's gone if that was me man I'm gonna hot y'all to the day y'all died I made some good deals and I made some bad ones I really went in the hole with this one George Lost life by stabbed and falling on each eraser this is cooter rough cooter burrito was forever loved unfortunately her husband was never satisfied and will be back he's probably right there my love's Papa loves women markup par with two and swimming here last bar I believe this one says good eatin I feel like this is gonna be my - you - no need for - stop saying this says it all and this one is a dead man pretty much and my favorite one by the doctor will see you shut the honor says here lies the best damn moonshiner that ever lived or free said this ain't bad once you get used to it his last words were