The provided text appears to be a series of anecdotes about various individuals who have encountered dangerous or fatal situations. Here's a concise summary:
1. The narrator discusses the Darwin Awards, which are given to people who unintentionally cause their own deaths. The narrator then tells a story about a couple from Belarus who found a bottle of homemade alcohol in a landfill, drank it, and became extremely ill. The alcohol was actually poisonous, and the couple died.
2. The narrator tells a story about a man in Brazil who built an electric fence around his car to protect it from thieves. The fence was so powerful that it electrocuted him when he accidentally turned it on.
3. The narrator tells a story about a man from Detroit who dove into an icy river to retrieve his phone. He failed to realize the danger of sudden submersion in ice-cold water and died.
4. The narrator tells a story about a funeral in Serbia where the bishop who died from coronavirus was not wearing a mask, and the church patriarch who led the event also became seriously ill and died.
5. The narrator tells a story about a man in Florida who attempted to jump a drawbridge on his motorcycle. He failed to spot the safety gate arms which had already descended, and he crashed into one of the gates.
6. The narrator tells a story about a man in Australia who was thrown from a forklift he was driving and fatally crushed by his payload. An investigation revealed that he broke several crucial rules of forklift safety.
7. The narrator tells a story about a woman in Colombia who ignored safety warnings and fell over a waterfall. She was killed by the fall.
8. The narrator tells a story about a man in Florida in 1984 who was crushed by a vending machine.
9. The narrator tells a story about several people in India who were electrocuted when they climbed onto a rooftop to watch a bus ride.
10. The narrator tells a story about a woman in Minnesota in 1982 who believed she was contacted by aliens and drove to an isolated location to await further instructions. She and her companion died of exposure and dehydration.
11. The narrator tells a story about football fans in San Francisco in 1900 who climbed onto a factory roof to watch a game. The roof collapsed, and several of the fans were killed or seriously injured.
12. The narrator tells a story about a magician in 1889 who attempted to catch a speeding bullet using the American flag wrapped around his body. The bullet was real, and the magician was killed.
13. The narrator tells a story about a man in Sao Paulo, Brazil, who climbed onto a statue of a cross to pose for a picture. The beam he was leaning on came loose and toppled, killing him.
14. The narrator tells a story about a woman in Kiawah Island, South Carolina, who decided to swim in a local pond known to be home to an alligator while in a drunken state. She was eaten by the alligator.
The narrator concludes by saying that if there is a god, he doesn't appreciate selfies.
1. The text mentions a man who found a bottle filled with a mysterious murky liquid in a landfill site in Belarus in October 2020. The man assumed it contained homemade alcohol and shared it with his wife. The next day, the couple became extremely ill and died. The bottle contained homemade alcohol that was completely poisonous.
2. The text also mentions a man from Detroit who dived into an icy partially frozen river to retrieve his phone in February 2020. He failed to realize that sudden submersion in ice-cold water can be dangerous and can cause shock, paralyze muscles, and even cause a heart attack. He did not re-emerge until several hours later when emergency responders pulled his lifeless body from the water.
3. The text mentions a man named Robert Emmett Odlum who jumped from the Brooklyn Bridge in New York City in May 1885 to prove that people did not die by simply falling through the air. He attempted to stay straight in the air but a strong wind blew him into a diagonal angle of descent. When he eventually struck the water, the angle of impact caused serious damage, rupturing his spleen, liver, and kidneys.
4. The text mentions a man who was thrown from a forklift he was driving and fatally crushed by his payload in Australia in 2017 while filming a forklift safety video. An investigation revealed that despite the intentions of the video, the man had broken several crucial rules of forklift safety.
5. The text mentions a woman who ignored safety warnings about wandering too close to the edge of a waterfall in Cocka, Colombia, in January 2020. She ended up plummeting over the waterfall's edge and was fatally injured.
6. The text mentions a man who was thrown from the rooftop of a glass factory in San Francisco in 1900 while trying to watch a football game for free. The factory roof collapsed and the revelers fell directly onto a furnace vat filled with molten glass. Several of the men who fell onto the cover instantly caught ablaze.
7. The text mentions a magician named Michael Hattal who took to the stage in 1889 promising his audience he could catch a speeding bullet using nothing more than the American flag wrapped around his body. However, he accidentally swapped the real ammo for more ammo, and when he fired, he was killed instantly.
8. The text mentions a man who climbed up the central concrete column of a large statue of a cross in Sao Paulo, Brazil, in August 2020. He overestimated the strength of the upper beam he lent against while the picture was being taken, and the beam came loose and toppled, sending it and the man falling straight down to the ground. The heavy beam landed right on top of him, and the man's religious photo opportunity ultimately proved fatal.