The text appears to be a monologue from a comedian, possibly a stand-up routine or a comedy sketch. The speaker, who seems to be in his 40s, discusses his aging process, comparing it to various natural phenomena and making light of his physical changes.
He starts by mentioning that he has to take off his jacket to make it clearer, likely referring to a stage setup or a visual aid. He then recounts a humorous incident involving a watermelon hitting Kharlamov on the cheek, and expresses surprise at how quickly he's aged.
The speaker then talks about his physical changes, such as hair growing in his ears and his toes becoming bent. He also mentions his struggle with toenail cutting, starting with his big toe because he doesn't have the strength to do the others.
He discusses his fear of getting sick at his age and shares a story about a resident who got hemorrhoids, which led to a humorous slide show of the resident's photos.
The speaker also shares his thoughts on Hollywood stars, expressing jealousy and admiration for their ageless looks. He mentions Tom Cruise, who is three years older than him, and jokes about Garmash, another comedian, who is also three years older.
The monologue ends with the speaker expressing his age but claiming to be in excellent shape and young. He also mentions a comedian named Pavel Volya, who is always cheerful and fresh.
1. The speaker is discussing their physical changes after turning 40, including hair growth in unusual places and changes in their body shape.
2. The speaker mentions a specific incident involving a resident getting hemorrhoids, which led to a doctor's visit and prescription of medication.
3. The speaker recounts a children's party where an iPhone began to show up from the gallery during a photo slide show.
4. The speaker discusses the aging process, comparing it to Hollywood stars like Tom Cruise and Garmash.
5. The speaker jokes about their own aging process, claiming to be in excellent shape and young despite their age.
6. The speaker mentions a specific incident where Pavel Volya, a character in the text, is always cheerful and fresh, and the need for an ambulance.