The speaker discusses a method for resolving disagreements between couples in a calm and efficient manner. The speaker shares personal experiences of recording couples playing a simple game to resolve long-standing issues, with some issues lasting for over 40 years. The speaker emphasizes that these issues can be resolved in less than 26 minutes, without any fuss or drama.
The method involves focusing on a single issue and reducing it into a simple yes or no question. The couple then writes down the details supporting their respective positions. They then discuss the issue, focusing on the details one at a time. The speaker emphasizes that the key to this method is to avoid debating and instead, repeat back what the other person means in their own words, and then ask if that's right. This approach allows both parties to feel heard and understood, and it slows down communication, giving both parties time to think and respond thoughtfully.
The speaker shares an example of how this method was used to resolve a long-standing argument between his parents. The argument was about his mother wanting a TV in every room, which his father found unnecessary. The couple was able to resolve the issue in just a few minutes, with no yelling or cussing. The speaker concludes by emphasizing that this method can be used to resolve most any disagreement between couples in just minutes, without any fuss or drama.
1. The speaker has traveled across the country, recording couples playing a simple game.
2. The game involves resolving disagreements in less than 26 minutes.
3. The game involves focusing on a single issue and reducing it into a simple yes or no question.
4. The couple writes down the details supporting their respective positions.
5. The couple then talks about the issue, focusing on the details one at a time.
6. The speaker emphasizes the importance of the couple hearing each other's perspectives.
7. The speaker shares a personal example of resolving a long-standing argument with his parents in just a few minutes.
8. The speaker notes that in all the couples he recorded, there was no yelling or cussing on paper.
9. The speaker concludes that most disagreements can be resolved in just minutes, without fuss or drama.