The text appears to be a transcript of a roast or comedy performance, likely by Kevin Hart. The performance seems to have been part of a larger event, possibly a wedding or a similar celebration. Hart was invited to perform a roast, possibly of a semi-famous rapper known as "Ludicrous", as part of the entertainment. Throughout the performance, Hart makes several humorous comments and jokes, poking fun at various figures and situations. He also interacts with the audience and makes references to his own career and life. The performance ends with Hart thanking the audience and expressing his appreciation for the opportunity to perform.
1. The text is a transcript of a roast, with Kevin Hart and Shaq being the main targets.
2. The host of the event needed a miniature black man for a cake at their wedding, leading to Kevin Hart's attendance.
3. The host had initially tried to hire Jamie Foxx and Chris Rock for the event, but they couldn't perform.
4. The host then had the idea to call Kevin Hart and asked for Dave Chappelle's number, but Hart didn't have it.
5. The host had a great respect for Kevin Hart and appreciated his performance.
6. The host made several jokes about Justin's love for black culture and his attempts to appear gangster.
7. The host mentioned that Justin had sung the N-word in a song about killing black people, and that he got in trouble for it.
8. The host made fun of Justin's purchase and abandonment of a monkey in Germany.
9. The host pointed out that Kevin Hart is one of the biggest movie stars in the business and had struggled for years before getting his first big paycheck.
10. The host made a joke about Kevin Hart's height and appearance, comparing him to 50 Cent.
11. The host mentioned that Kevin Hart would be playing a role on the next season of Game of Thrones.
12. The host made fun of Shaq's look and joked that he had a star on the Yellow Brick Road.
13. The host asked how Kevin Hart and Shaq ended up on the roast, suggesting that they were the third funniest people on a game show.
14. The host mentioned that he had recently gotten married and thanked Kevin Hart for attending the wedding.
15. The host mentioned a semi-famous rapper named Ludicrous, whose first album was called "Incognito" and whose new album "Ludiverse" was hopefully his last.
16. The host joked that Ludicrous was not recognized from the Fast and Furious movies because when he was on screen, even white people started talking.
17. The host concluded the event with a welcome for Ludicrous, who was introduced as one of the most successful rappers of 2001.