The text is a script from a comedic segment on a TV show hosted by João Kléber. The segment involves a series of absurd revelations, including a man admitting he is bald and not liked by the host, a woman revealing she is a mermaid who had a child with a merman, and a man admitting he prostituted himself to be able to eat cheeseburgers. The host, João Kléber, presents these revelations with exaggerated shock and surprise, adding to the comedic effect. The segment ends with a call to action for viewers to subscribe to the show's channel and leave comments on the video.
1. The speaker is João Kléber, a well-known figure in the 70s, who has since hosted various programs on TV. [Source: Document 1]
2. The speaker is addressing the audience, revealing absurd and unexpected revelations about themselves. [Source: Document 1]
3. The speaker claims to have a double degree and warns that the world is going to fall apart. [Source: Document 1]
4. The speaker reveals that they have a secret, but it's not about anything serious, it's about a turtle they once cared for. [Source: Document 1]
5. The speaker claims to have a secret that involves eating bricks and not knowing what they are in English. [Source: Document 1]
6. The speaker reveals that they miss a man named Michael Jackson and believe he reincarnated in them. [Source: Document 1]
7. The speaker mentions a position as a screenwriter for João Kléber's program and questions whether it pays well. [Source: Document 2]
8. The speaker reveals a secret about their personal hygiene, stating they don't take showers and only remember to use tissue. [Source: Document 2]
9. The speaker reveals that they are addicted to smoking toilet paper. [Source: Document 2]
10. The speaker makes absurd claims about their family, including that their son's name will be Batman and that they are from another planet. [Source: Document 3]
11. The speaker admits to prostituting themselves to eat cheeseburgers. [Source: Document 4]