The speaker discusses their personal journey of overcoming manipulation and shame, which began during their early 40s. They share their experience of feeling called to orphan care, but were discouraged by a woman in their church who told them they were unfit for adoption due to their past trauma. The speaker was manipulated into feeling unworthy and unfit for motherhood, which they believed was due to their past sexual abuse and subsequent counseling.
Despite this, they decided to follow their calling to adopt, but were advised to adopt a dog instead. This advice further wounded their sense of worth and value. The speaker then recounts their struggles with an eating disorder, which was a result of feeling controlled and manipulated in their church community.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of discernment and understanding God's word to avoid being manipulated. They discuss the dangers of internal and external manipulation, and how it can lead to a scarcity mentality, fear of serving, or becoming manipulative themselves. They encourage seeking wise counsel, particularly from older Christians or counselors, to help navigate these challenges.
Finally, they address the issue of church preferences and how they can lead to manipulation and the loss of identity. They emphasize the importance of reading and understanding the Bible to avoid being swayed by personal preferences disguised as Biblical principles.
1. The speaker was feeling "freed beyond what [they] thought" and was reflecting on their past experiences of feeling "imprisoned" and "manipulated" [Source: Document(page_content="00:00:00.00: I have been freed beyond what I thought\n00:00:02.10: I could but because I know what it feels\n00:00:04.20: like to be imprisoned and be manipulated\n00:00:06.90: and to make myself small so somebody\n00:00:10.38: else felt better about themselves\n00:00:12.60: which is not godly and that's different\n00:00:15.96: than\n00:00:17.58: um arrogance but you talked about being\n00:00:20.64: obedient which God has called us to")].
2. The speaker shared that in their early 40s, they felt stirred by God about the issue of orphan care [Source: Document(page_content="00:00:26.52: when I was in my early 40s I really felt\n00:00:31.02: God stirring me around the issue of\n00:00:32.88: Orphan care")].
3. The speaker was advised against adopting due to their past experiences of sexual abuse and counseling [Source: Document(page_content="00:02:23.18: and she said\n00:02:25.32: um so I'm going to tell you something\n00:02:26.40: really hard that I don't think anybody\n00:02:27.72: else is going to tell you she goes I\n00:02:29.22: don't know if you're considering\n00:02:30.12: adoption but I just want to tell you I I\n00:02:33.48: do not think you should be an adoptive\n00:02:35.16: mom if you're even considering that with\n00:02:37.02: this whole issue of Orphan care because\n00:02:39.00: you've shared with our small group you")].
4. The speaker decided to adopt a dog instead of a child, stating that there were 150 million orphans in the world [Source: Document(page_content="00:02:45.48: if it's your will if it's not shut the\n00:02:48.30: door yeah but if it's your will even\n00:02:51.06: though I'm single there's 150 million\n00:02:55.20: orphans in the world as we know it today")].
5. The speaker was advised to seek wise counsel and therapy, as they had experienced manipulation and abuse [Source: Document(page_content="00:17:24.56: here you really yeah yeah I think it's\n00:17:27.84: okay to go to therapy because sometimes\n00:17:30.30: you just need especially in leadership\n00:17:32.10: or any level of life you just need\n00:17:33.84: somebody to help you walk that out so\n00:17:36.54: you can discern truth because what will\n00:17:38.16: happen is that when you've experienced\n00:17:40.32: manipulation one of two things happens\n00:17:42.48: either you're never going to want to be\n00:17:44.16: you're never going to want to serve\n00:17:45.54: again because you're going