The speaker, Robert Hoge, shares his personal experience of dealing with the societal pressure to conform to traditional beauty standards. Born with facial deformities, he underwent numerous surgeries to alter his appearance, which were largely dictated by his parents, doctors, and society. However, he realized that these decisions were not his to make and that he was never truly comfortable with his face.
At the age of 14, he was given the choice to undergo another operation that could potentially restore his appearance to a more 'normal' state. Despite the potential risks, including the possibility of going blind, he decided against it. This decision marked a turning point in his life, as he realized that he had the power to make choices about his appearance. He felt that he had 'owned' his face for the first time.
He shared his story to challenge the notion of 'ideal beauty' and to encourage others to embrace their unique features and characteristics. He emphasized that ideal beauty is not a singular destination to reach, but rather a million different points on a map. Each individual should choose their own point and walk away from it.
The speaker also shared his experience of having his portrait painted by an artist friend, which initially disturbed him as he felt the artist had 'owned' his face. However, upon reflection, he realized that this was his own choice and that he had the power to choose to accept and appreciate his face.
In conclusion, the speaker encourages others to take ownership of their faces and to make choices that reflect their individuality and self-acceptance. He invites his listeners to consider their own choices in the morning and to choose to accept and appreciate their faces.
1. The speaker, Robert Hoge, has facial deformities that have been with him since he was developing in his mother's womb. He was born with a massive tumor at the front of his face that pushed his eyes to the side of his head, resembling a fish [Text].
2. Robert's parents were not aware of his condition during prenatal scans in the 1970s. They only discovered something was wrong when Robert was born [Text].
3. Robert's mother initially refused to connect with him due to his facial deformities. She left him in the hospital for about a month before deciding to bring him home [Text].
4. Over time, she softened her view and realized the impact of bringing him home would have on her other children. They had a family discussion and Robert's siblings voted to bring him home [Text].
5. After Robert came home, his parents noticed people's reactions to his appearance. He was often stared at and made fun of for his facial features [Text].
6. At the age of four, doctors suggested major surgery to make his face look more normal. His parents agreed and he underwent the operation [Text].
7. By the age of 14, Robert had accumulated a series of nicknames due to his facial deformities. This led to doctors suggesting another operation to further alter his facial features [Text].
8. His parents discussed the risks of the operation with him. He was given the choice to undergo the operation or not. He decided not to have it, which he later regretted [Text].
9. Robert felt that his ugliness made it easier for him to own his face than many others. He believed that everyone makes choices every day about their appearance, such as shaving, wearing makeup, or dressing in a certain way [Text].
10. A year later, an artist friend of Robert's asked him to sit for a portrait. Robert was disturbed when he saw the finished portrait as he felt the artist had "owned" his face for him [Text].
11. Robert concluded his speech by urging his audience to choose to accept and appreciate their faces, rather than looking away from the mirror too quickly. He emphasized that owning a face is a choice [Text].