Here is a concise summary of the provided transcript:
**Content Overview:** A sarcastic and humorous commentary on Microsoft's E3 2018 conference, discussing various games, exclusives, and the company's gaming strategy.
**Key Points:**
1. **Games Mentioned:**
* Various titles, including Forza Horizon 4, Fallout, Life is Strange, Crackdown 3, Gears of War, and Dying Light 2.
* Jokes about lackluster game plots and overused tropes.
2. **Microsoft's Gaming Strategy:**
* Acquisition of five game studios to develop exclusives.
* Potential for strong, console-selling exclusives with proper funding and creative freedom.
3. **Industry Trends:**
* Cloud gaming and a potential "Netflix for gaming" model.
* Skepticism about Microsoft's ability to succeed in these areas, drawing parallels to the failed Windows Phone.
4. **Tone and Style:**
* Sarcastic, humorous, and lighthearted commentary with pop culture references and wordplay.
**Overall:** The commentary playfully critiques Microsoft's E3 2018 conference, touching on various games and the company's strategic moves in the gaming industry, all while maintaining a humorous tone.
Here are the extracted key facts, each with a number and in short sentences, excluding opinions:
1. **Microsoft bought five game studios** to develop exclusives.
2. **Xbox's exclusives** are being developed with proper funding and creative freedom.
3. **Mass Effect was initially a 360 exclusive** before being available on other platforms.
4. **Dirt 4** had 91 million hours played by 1 million players.
5. **Battlefield 5's story trailer** lasted 38 seconds.
6. **Forza Horizon 4's scene** is set in England.
7. **Microsoft is working on** a game with a scene showing a post-apocalyptic world (possibly related to Dying Light 2 or a new title).
8. **Dying Light 2** has a non-linear design and **no set release date**.
9. **Battletoads** was announced with a text-only reveal.
10. **Microsoft promises** a return to "big game" releases.
11. **Microsoft is exploring** a paid subscription model, akin to a "Netflix for gaming".
12. **Cloud gaming** on any device with Wi-Fi, a screen, and a credit card connector is being developed.
13. **E3 2018's Microsoft conference** occurred more than a day before Sony's conference.