Here is a concise summary of the provided text, which appears to be a humorous, sarcastic, and informal summary of a Superman movie (likely "Man of Steel" given the plot points):
**Concise Summary:**
The movie (likely "Man of Steel") opens with a distant planet's triumvirate collapsing, and a character named Sol escaping with the planet's best, including a young Superman (Kal-El/Clark). The story then follows Clark, an alien with various superpowers, as he discovers his true identity and becomes Superman.
Key plot points:
* Clark learns about his past from a hologram of his father
* He dons the iconic Superman suit
* Battles an alien invasion led by a villain who seeks to destroy humanity
* Superman is temporarily weakened but recovers to save the planet
* A final battle ensues, resulting in significant destruction and innocent casualties
* The movie concludes with Superman reflecting on his actions and a new journalist joining the Daily Planet.
**Tone Note:** The original text is written in a humorous, sarcastic, and informal tone, which is not fully preserved in this concise summary to maintain clarity and brevity.
Here are the extracted key facts in short sentences, numbered for reference:
**Note:** I've excluded opinions, subjective statements, and parts that seem to be jokes or unrelated to the main content.
1. The story begins on a distant planet where a triumvirate is breaking up.
2. A character named Sol appears and proposes a solution to the planet's problems.
3. Sol's solution involves taking the best individuals to another planet to start anew.
4. Russell Crowe's character only saves his son and stores genetic information on an intergalactic flash drive.
5. The son plugs in the flash drive, which reveals a hologram of his father.
6. The father's hologram explains the truth about their planet and gives the son a super suit with an "S" emblem.
7. The "S" emblem means "hope" in the rare language of their planet.
8. The story shifts to Clark, an alien boy with extraordinary powers (x-rays, laser rays, super hearing, super strength, super resistance).
9. Clark's adoptive father, Kevin Costner's character, reveals the truth about Clark's origin.
10. Clark discovers an extraterrestrial ship and meets a journalist named Divimos.
11. A villain (possibly from the "ghost zone") appears with a plan to kill all humans and take over the planet.
12. The villain and Superman engage in a battle, with the villain returning with more powerful ships.
13. A character suggests colliding a ship with the mother ship to create a black hole, destroying the enemy.
14. Superman is temporarily weakened (reason unclear) but regains strength to fight.
15. The final battle involves Superman and the villains, resulting in significant destruction and innocent casualties.
16. Superman ultimately defeats the villain, but is depressed by the outcome.
17. The story concludes with a focus on the power of love and introduces a new journalist character.