Here is a concise summary of the provided text:
**Title:** A Humorous Monologue by Vladimir Vinokur
**Summary:**
The monologue's narrator, likely Vladimir Vinokur himself, recounts his attempt to quit swearing for the sake of his grandson, Artemka. He shares a series of humorous, meandering anecdotes about his struggles to maintain his newfound cleanliness of language, touching on various topics such as:
* Trying to avoid cursing in response to frustrating news and situations
* A story about alleged poisoning in England, which devolves into absurdity
* Observations on sports, politics, and societal issues, all while attempting to self-censor
* A transformative moment in nature that briefly renews his commitment to not swearing
* Ultimate resignation, acknowledging that swearing is deeply ingrained in his culture and even his grandson is already picking up "colorful" language
**Closing:** The monologue concludes with Vinokur wishing his audience peace in their homes for the New Year, punctuated by applause.
Here are the extracted key facts in short sentences, numbered for reference:
1. **Family Relationship**: The speaker has a grandson named Artemka (also referred to as Artyomka).
2. **Personal Pledge**: The speaker vowed to stop swearing for the sake of their grandson.
3. **Pension Reform Mention**: The speaker mentions a pension reform that was accepted.
4. **Financial Aspect**: The reform allegedly adds a thousand rubles to pensions to help pensioners support children and travel.
5. **Political Figures Mentioned**:
* The Minister of Finance is mentioned in the context of the pension reform.
* Gorbachev is mentioned in relation to a period of Prohibition.
6. **Location Mentions**:
* England (in the context of a news story about poisoning).
* Salisbury Cathedral (as a location visited by individuals in a shared story).
* Russia (implied, given the context of pension reform and cultural references).
* Norway and Germany (mentioned in the context of athletic competitions).
* London (mentioned in the context of a "scary bar").
7. **Event/Timing**:
* The text ends with a greeting for the Old New Year.
8. **Health/Hospital**:
* Burdenko Hospital is mentioned in a comparative context.
9. **Other Names Mentioned**:
* Bashirov
* Travs
* Amel
* Rodchenko (twice, with different contexts)
* Valuev (likely referring to Nikolai Valuev, a Russian boxer)
* Kulakova Gena (possibly referring to a gymnast or athlete)
* Yurik (the speaker's dad)
* Vladimir Vinokur (identified as the speaker at the end)
* Simonyan (likely referring to a media figure, in the context of an interview)
* Ali Riza (in the context of a news story or event in England)