Here is a concise summary of the provided transcript:
**Title:** A Close Call at a DUI Checkpoint (while high)
**Summary:**
* A comedian recounts driving home from a gig at the Comedy Store in LA, smoking weed 2 miles from his house (a carefully calculated distance to coincide with the end of 3 songs).
* He unexpectedly encounters a DUI checkpoint and, already high, tries to composedly interact with the officer.
* Despite having just smoked weed, the comedian's car doesn't smell of marijuana, to his surprise.
* He convincingly deflects suspicion, blaming potential beer smells on the Comedy Store crowd and implying other comedians might be the weed smokers.
* The officer, seemingly unbothered, lets him off with a warning and a bizarre parting comment about a sandwich on his car's hood.
Here are the key facts extracted from the text, each with a number and in short sentences:
1. The narrator was driving home from the Comedy Store in L.A. around 1:00 AM on a Wednesday.
2. The narrator lives off Ventura Boulevard, which is four lanes wide and straight near their house.
3. At 1:00 AM on a Wednesday, Ventura Boulevard is typically empty.
4. The narrator smokes a joint two miles from their house, which takes approximately three songs to reach their driveway.
5. The narrator was pulled into a DUI checkpoint two miles from their house.
6. The checkpoint was manned by a single police officer who was either pulling people over or letting them through.
7. The narrator waited in line, listening to three Allman Brothers songs, before reaching the front.
8. When the narrator reached the front, the officer asked them to roll down their window, which was initially only rolled down about an inch.
9. The officer requested the window be rolled down further and then stuck his head into the car to sniff the narrator's face.
10. The officer stated the narrator didn't smell like alcohol or marijuana, despite the narrator having smoked weed approximately 50 feet away from the checkpoint.
11. The narrator claimed they had been at the Comedy Store and may have smelled like beer or been around others smoking weed in the parking lot.
12. The officer accepted this explanation and let the narrator go, noting their eyes looked fine.
13. Before letting the narrator go, the officer mentioned a unrelated comment about a sandwich on the hood of the car (no further context).